In a moment of pain, I silently asked God how I can possibly love someone who clearly doesn’t seem to love me or my thoughts or ideas or actions. Or how can I love someone who says they love me but doesn’t show it in the ways that are meaningful to me?
He asked back does He not also love me despite me falling short in my ability to love Him in the way He wants to be loved and praised?
I laughed out loud with tears in my eyes.
As a child, stuggled with understanding why the Creator of the universe, omnipotent and soverign would need to be loved and praised by his creations. In fact, demanding it. It seemed to me an idea concieved by the clergy- a distorted message in the religious texts. Then, I got married and God started to show me why he wants our love and praise.
I don’t always need my husband to show his love for me, but man do I want him to. And if he doesn’t show it in the way that I want, it upsets me a little ( ok, a LOT, like a weeks worth of passive aggressiveness for the one time he didn’t put the toilet seat down ). I imagine our relationship with God is the same way.
Here’s what the adult me would say to the child me who struggled with this. God doesn’t need our love or our praise, but he wants it and he really really REALLY appreciates it.
God is soverign and omnipotent, but He also FEELS, in a way similar to how you and I feel.
When you do something for someone, let’s say you help them, or you do something they couldn’t do themselves, you give them something you have, wouldn’t it feel better if they said thank you, instead of just taking it and walking away? Think then how God must feel, that He created this beautiful world for us, our magnificent body and gave us all the faculties needed to function and live in the world, yet we don’t say thank you. So many people in the world and He provides for us in ways seen and unseen, yet how many say thank you? Would it not make him sad? And who do you want to be close to and walk with more? The people who appreciate you or the people who just look to you when they need something? And would you not give even more to those who are grateful and appreciative?
To the teenager me, I’d say: No, this does not make God a narcassist. He doesn’t NEED this, but he wants it because he wants to be close to you. God is a BEING, with likes and dislikes. This doesn’t make him zealous, or selfish. It makes him whole. It is a choice to be close to him, just like it’s a choice who you want to be close to based on HOW THAT PERSON IS.